Stop coddling your kids!

I have been reading Bill Maher’s book, “New Rules.” It is absolutely hilarious and brutally honest. In the book there is an excerpt about how parents should stop coddling their children. Here is an excerpt:

“I’ve heard that now some schools have stopped grading papers with red ink because of complaints that a big, mean red X is too negative-why, a kid might even think he got that question wrong. Parents today are so fixated on protection, it’s amazing they ever got pregnant in the first place. A recent reality show called Supernanny placed an old-school, discipline-wielding nanny into a family where the mother can’t figure out that the reason she’s having a nervous breakdown is that she says things to her kids like, “Tyler, Mommy would really appreciate it if you didn’t throw rocks at me.”…Now, for those of you who are saying, “But Bill, you’re not a parent,” I say true, but I have one thing these parents apparently don’t: a brain. This is not rocket science, What should you do when Skylar won’t do his chores? How about using your size advantage? Make him!...parents these days act like they’re on a date with their children-trying to impress them, trying to buy their love, and never contradicting them or giving them a big red X when they’re wrong.”

I have worked with many children and you can always tell which ones always get their way at home. It makes our job a whole lot harder. Parents, please don’t always give your children what they want. It is okay to say no. You will make them into better people if you don’t always give them what they want. If you give them everything they want, they will walk all over you. They will not listen to you and they will cry when they don’t get something they want. Never bribe a child to do things. If they are misbehaving, don’t promise them candy if they start behaving correctly. They don’t deserve it. Yeah, you can reward them but only when they are behaving the right way. Here are some tips:

1.       Give them some independence.

2.       Don’t be their best friend. Parents are afraid that their kids won’t like them. Being a true parent means that sometimes you have to lay down the rules, and oftentimes your child won’t like that. Kids don’t need a best friend, they need an authority figure. Kids really do want structure and guidance.

3.       Don’t automatically take their side. Listen to the whole story and don’t get defensive when someone criticizes your child.

4.       Make them work for what they get. Don’t buy them everything they want. If you do that, you are conditioning them to the idea that if they whine, they’ll get what they want. Encourage your children to work for what they want.